She was really happy that day and even looked at the camera.
12/12/14
sail away to the land of knod
We have a blow up canoe in the middle of our living room. Ya, you did read that right. Not only that it is bright yellow!Why oh why??? you ask? Because that is the only way the any of us get sleep. The Angel fills it up with blankets and stuffed animals and snuggles in for a gentle ride off to dream land.
I think it is the best thing we ever got for her!
B day Ride
It is super late but her are pictures of the Angels birthday. We all
went out on four wheelers and played. She thought it was the best party
ever.
8/9/14
8-9-14
I always make my grocery lists on a post-it note. There was a time when the Angel couldn't stand the grocery store, but she has learned to like going shopping.
The other day she brings me this list that she made and asked to go to the store. We had just gone two days before, but this was so cute that I decided that we should go and see what she needed. It turned out that she wanted peas... fresh ones in the shell and apple juice.
The funniest part was when I suggested that we buy Dad some ice cream. She got really serious and told me "NO no no!". Then pointed to the list and told me No again. Apparently, ice cream is not on the list! Now I know.
The other day she brings me this list that she made and asked to go to the store. We had just gone two days before, but this was so cute that I decided that we should go and see what she needed. It turned out that she wanted peas... fresh ones in the shell and apple juice.
8/6/14
Kitchen skills!
Kalista was very inspired by this and has been practicing on cucumbers. She is peeling them first and I think that is a great idea and she is getting really good.
Hubby isn't all that happy with me letting her go chop happy, but she is a teenager and she should be allowed to do what she can do. How do we know what she can do if we never let her try?
7/14/13
7/14
Jim just gave Kalista the most fun and exciting toy in the world. It is SOOOO great its worth its weight in Gold. She has been laughing and playing with it all day and it just gets funnier and funnier.
What is it you ask?? A DS, an ipad, a remote control helicopter?
Noooo.....
See that?? A rubber band and a folded sticky note. That is what all the fuss has been about! Kalista is getting pretty accurate with it and can ping things off the counter and shoot her mom in the back if I don't clap every time.
It is the simple things in life the count.
What is it you ask?? A DS, an ipad, a remote control helicopter?
Noooo.....
See that?? A rubber band and a folded sticky note. That is what all the fuss has been about! Kalista is getting pretty accurate with it and can ping things off the counter and shoot her mom in the back if I don't clap every time.
It is the simple things in life the count.
7/2/13
7/2
I stayed up late last night building a whip for my first paying costumer. I knew I had to finish it or I wouldn't sleep for thinking of it. I believe I dreamed about it any way.
So about 4am I was cozy in my bed. Kalista come giggling and snuggling in. I Hope she will lay next to me and let me get some more rest but I know better. She hasn't slept all night.... why would she go down now.??? I roll over and pretend to be sleeping and I don't have to pretend that much.
Kalista starts poking my arms at random intervals. Yes that gets annoying but it is way better than whacking me on the head with the remote control like normal.
Through the open window I hear the birds and it isn't the glorious song of a meadow lark. It sounded like screaming. One shrill note over and over.
It was then that I realized that that particular baby bird must have autism. It Is dark (I mean dark) out there and yet it does not sleep. It's mother must love it so much because she doesn't accidentally boot it out of the nest.
It is at that very moment that I realize that Kalista is poking me in time with that retched little birds screams. LOL! I wonder if she was trying to point them out to me or if they were one reason she is waking me up earlier than the sun. ....and it totally is an Angel bird!
Now all the baby birds are awake and "singing" that one awful note but somehow adding more voices in makes it easier to listen to.
That is how I got my tea made, meditation done, an hour of yoga, pictures of the sunrise taken and this story all written before 6am. ....and I have been off caffeine for over a month now but it is days like this that remind me why I go back to it.
Have a beautiful day!
So about 4am I was cozy in my bed. Kalista come giggling and snuggling in. I Hope she will lay next to me and let me get some more rest but I know better. She hasn't slept all night.... why would she go down now.??? I roll over and pretend to be sleeping and I don't have to pretend that much.
Kalista starts poking my arms at random intervals. Yes that gets annoying but it is way better than whacking me on the head with the remote control like normal.
Through the open window I hear the birds and it isn't the glorious song of a meadow lark. It sounded like screaming. One shrill note over and over.
It was then that I realized that that particular baby bird must have autism. It Is dark (I mean dark) out there and yet it does not sleep. It's mother must love it so much because she doesn't accidentally boot it out of the nest.
It is at that very moment that I realize that Kalista is poking me in time with that retched little birds screams. LOL! I wonder if she was trying to point them out to me or if they were one reason she is waking me up earlier than the sun. ....and it totally is an Angel bird!
Now all the baby birds are awake and "singing" that one awful note but somehow adding more voices in makes it easier to listen to.
That is how I got my tea made, meditation done, an hour of yoga, pictures of the sunrise taken and this story all written before 6am. ....and I have been off caffeine for over a month now but it is days like this that remind me why I go back to it.
Have a beautiful day!
6/30/13
6/30
Kalista spent the night at grandma Helen's house this week. When I came to pick her up she showed me the present she had made for my birthday.
I'm sure my Mom had a big part in it. Thanks Mom you're the best! xoxo
I'm sure my Mom had a big part in it. Thanks Mom you're the best! xoxo
6/29/13
6/29
Today after my cleaning was done I thought I would take some time for myself and build the core and belly of a new whip. I was pretty proud of myself for figuring out how to rig it up on the salon door so that I could still be in the house and available for phone calls and anything Kalista may need.
She had been coming and going the whole time hugging me and showing me different things. At some point she said "waiting Momma". I told her that she was such a good girl for waiting. Then she said it again with some Angel attitude that can only mean that a melt down is coming on. I stopped what I was doing and went with her into the kitchen..... where a container of ice cream was mostly melted.
She had been trying to tell me that she was done waiting!!
I am really proud of how much patience she has had with me today. She is growing up.
She had been coming and going the whole time hugging me and showing me different things. At some point she said "waiting Momma". I told her that she was such a good girl for waiting. Then she said it again with some Angel attitude that can only mean that a melt down is coming on. I stopped what I was doing and went with her into the kitchen..... where a container of ice cream was mostly melted.
She had been trying to tell me that she was done waiting!!
I am really proud of how much patience she has had with me today. She is growing up.
6/26/13
6/26
So it is summer!!! This is the first year since I started homeschooling that we have taken a summer break. They tell us never to let up... make every moment of every day a learning experience. (sometimes that can be exhausting) The Angel would work and work with no complaints.... me I'm almost giddy at the prospect of having a moment of me time.
I have the time to exercise and spend time on my art projects. I remember what it is like to work everyday.... It feels good to know I could still do that if I needed to.
We haven't gotten any sleep in 3 days. I'm blaming the super moon. All this awake time has gifted me with some really sweet moment with Kalista.
Just now we were laying on the grass and had this conversation where she told me names of animals and what they said. I told her how smart she was. She had me laughing so hard because she knows some obscure animals like dolphins, peacocks, lamas, penguins.... Her favorite animal, it turns out is the sheep and we had to go over this a few different times.
It just amazes me that she is putting the effort in to talk about something unprompted. Maybe taking a little break has been good for her too.
I have the time to exercise and spend time on my art projects. I remember what it is like to work everyday.... It feels good to know I could still do that if I needed to.
We haven't gotten any sleep in 3 days. I'm blaming the super moon. All this awake time has gifted me with some really sweet moment with Kalista.
Just now we were laying on the grass and had this conversation where she told me names of animals and what they said. I told her how smart she was. She had me laughing so hard because she knows some obscure animals like dolphins, peacocks, lamas, penguins.... Her favorite animal, it turns out is the sheep and we had to go over this a few different times.
It just amazes me that she is putting the effort in to talk about something unprompted. Maybe taking a little break has been good for her too.
2/17/13
2/17
Kalista did a few cool things today. It was such a beautiful day, warm and sunny. I decided that we should take a walk to the fish pond. It is quite a long walk that involves climbing up 100 steps.
As we were walking along Kalista looks at me and says "run run run!". Then takes off running and laughing. So, I ran with her. She did that 3 more times. I think she was just so excited to go to the fish pond. It made me so happy to see her running and relaxed. It gives me a glimpse of what normal must be like.
We played for a long time and got some much needed sunshine. Jim decided it would be fun to bug Kalista and tickle her. It was more fun for Jim than her and she let him know it by squawking and pushing at him. Then right out of the blue she says "I don't want it!!". Holy cow! It was an appropriate spontaneous sentence that used the word (I) correctly!!! We were both so shocked that we laughed and cried a few happy tears. Jim left her alone after she earned it with such good talking.
Later Kalista decided that she needed to go to the store and even wrote out a list for me. It looked like squiggly lines on a postit note but that was fine because she knew what was on it. She did great in the store and I am still thankful we are able to go into public now. She picked out some healthy snacks with out any prompting from me. I just love that she likes nuts and veggies. A few hours later she came in and said clear as can be "carrot". I was impressed because that is a word we have not been working on. I walked in the kitchen and sure enough she had the baby carrots, that she just bought, out on the counter.
This has been an amazing day full of words and surprises. I'm really proud of how much My Angel has grown in the last few months.
As we were walking along Kalista looks at me and says "run run run!". Then takes off running and laughing. So, I ran with her. She did that 3 more times. I think she was just so excited to go to the fish pond. It made me so happy to see her running and relaxed. It gives me a glimpse of what normal must be like.
We played for a long time and got some much needed sunshine. Jim decided it would be fun to bug Kalista and tickle her. It was more fun for Jim than her and she let him know it by squawking and pushing at him. Then right out of the blue she says "I don't want it!!". Holy cow! It was an appropriate spontaneous sentence that used the word (I) correctly!!! We were both so shocked that we laughed and cried a few happy tears. Jim left her alone after she earned it with such good talking.
Later Kalista decided that she needed to go to the store and even wrote out a list for me. It looked like squiggly lines on a postit note but that was fine because she knew what was on it. She did great in the store and I am still thankful we are able to go into public now. She picked out some healthy snacks with out any prompting from me. I just love that she likes nuts and veggies. A few hours later she came in and said clear as can be "carrot". I was impressed because that is a word we have not been working on. I walked in the kitchen and sure enough she had the baby carrots, that she just bought, out on the counter.
This has been an amazing day full of words and surprises. I'm really proud of how much My Angel has grown in the last few months.
1/22/13
1-22
Kalista got a powwow drum for Christmas. It is her favorite thing in the world right now. For a few years we have had a Tiako drum on loan from my friend Joan. K played it everyday. Sadly, Joan moved this year and so did the drum. When Joan left with the drum K cried and chased her down the driveway saying "Please please". I simply broke my heart for her. It was the first time she had ever (wanted) anything. Also the first time there was nothing I could do but comfort her.
So I got on the internet to find a nice new drum only to find out that real tiako drums cost over $3000! That is a little out of my range. Finally I did find a place that sold the big pow wow drums. My Mom and Dad wanted to help and ended up getting the drum for Kalista's Christmas.
This is my favorite picture! I love the look on her face just at the moment that she realized what was in the box. It still makes me have a few happy tears when I look at it.
She couldn't even wait till we got it out of the box to play with it!
I love how happy she is about it! She as almost as excited about the drum beater.
So, the other night I was up with Kalista. It was around 3am. She sat next to her drum and I could tell she really wanted to play it. I don't let her play it at night because it is SOOO loud. (that why it is so fun) She put her hand on it.. tapped her fingers lightly and gave me the biggest smile. I thought I was going to have to intervene for a minute. She surprised me by having this conversation with herself. (out loud!) "Boom Boom!... heee hee. BoooM Boom! No no no..... Daddy sleep. Daddy sleep! Shhhhhh...... Quiet."
It was so cool to watch her figure it out by herself. Even more than that, I was so proud of her for putting the needs of someone else first. That is one Giant step for an Angel. Good job sweet girl!
So I got on the internet to find a nice new drum only to find out that real tiako drums cost over $3000! That is a little out of my range. Finally I did find a place that sold the big pow wow drums. My Mom and Dad wanted to help and ended up getting the drum for Kalista's Christmas.
So, the other night I was up with Kalista. It was around 3am. She sat next to her drum and I could tell she really wanted to play it. I don't let her play it at night because it is SOOO loud. (that why it is so fun) She put her hand on it.. tapped her fingers lightly and gave me the biggest smile. I thought I was going to have to intervene for a minute. She surprised me by having this conversation with herself. (out loud!) "Boom Boom!... heee hee. BoooM Boom! No no no..... Daddy sleep. Daddy sleep! Shhhhhh...... Quiet."
It was so cool to watch her figure it out by herself. Even more than that, I was so proud of her for putting the needs of someone else first. That is one Giant step for an Angel. Good job sweet girl!
11/20/12
11/20
So Kalista comes walking in wearing a pair of my tights. They are like pantyhose but thicker for winter. I tried to tell her that they weren't pants and to either put a pair of pants or a skirt on. She thinks I am crazy and won't do it. So I helped her hike them up so they aren't all baggy around the ankles.
Here is the thing. She LOVES them and is really happy. I think they are giving her some compression input that is helpful for her autism. I wonder if I should get her some of those long underwear things that Jim wears under his snow bibs? They are really tight and are not see through. =)
Here is the thing. She LOVES them and is really happy. I think they are giving her some compression input that is helpful for her autism. I wonder if I should get her some of those long underwear things that Jim wears under his snow bibs? They are really tight and are not see through. =)
11/6/12
Kalista's pumpkin
Halloween came and went. We survived it. I remember as a kid Halloween was my favorite holiday. It was so exciting with the costumes, carnivals, and the candy..... oh the mountains of candy! For a kid, it is the closest thing you will get to gambling in Vegas. You have to brave the cold/ mud to get to a dark strangers door... maybe they have a mean dog or have planed some trick to scar you off. When you get to the door you do get something but it could be anything. ((I mean ANYTHING)) It could be a poison apple, a toothbrush, a low end candy like dumb dumbs or sugar bees..... but there is always the chance that you will hit the jackpot and get a full sized snicker bar.
I still love Halloween but my Angel sure doesn't. To someone with sensory processing disorder it really is scary and overstimulating. There are crazy kids running around ringing your bell all night making lots of noise. Your mom tries to make you get into a scratchy costume and puts greasy goo on your face. You get drilled and drilled on how to say "trick or treat" and then all you get is one crappy piece of something you can't have anyway because of the GF/CF diet. Good thing Grandma knows what you CAN have and brings it right to your house.
For the most part we just try to make it through without a meltdown. The one tradition I do keep up is the Jack O lantern. Even this is difficult for her. the smell makes her gag at first and the feel of the pumpkin guts sent her senses into over drive. When it is done she loves it.... just getting to that place is a journey. this year the pumpkin turned out really cute.
We cut the top off and Dad tell her to "reach in there" and pull the seeds out. I had to laugh so hard at the look she gave him. She did NOT want to reach in there because it looks like this!
In the end she was very brave and put her hand in there..... and then had to wash off using the whole bottle of disinfectant soap.
Dad wants her to help with the carving. She does help but is having a really hard time concentrating because of all the pumpkin guts next to her.
Soon enough she relaxes and starts to have some fun. ((see the flappy hand starting))
Here she is! My happy Angel. This was the perfect Halloween moment. When she is happy it is a Giant HAPPY that fills the whole room and makes everyone happy too.
They even wrote her name on the side! I think it turned out really good.
I still love Halloween but my Angel sure doesn't. To someone with sensory processing disorder it really is scary and overstimulating. There are crazy kids running around ringing your bell all night making lots of noise. Your mom tries to make you get into a scratchy costume and puts greasy goo on your face. You get drilled and drilled on how to say "trick or treat" and then all you get is one crappy piece of something you can't have anyway because of the GF/CF diet. Good thing Grandma knows what you CAN have and brings it right to your house.
For the most part we just try to make it through without a meltdown. The one tradition I do keep up is the Jack O lantern. Even this is difficult for her. the smell makes her gag at first and the feel of the pumpkin guts sent her senses into over drive. When it is done she loves it.... just getting to that place is a journey. this year the pumpkin turned out really cute.
We cut the top off and Dad tell her to "reach in there" and pull the seeds out. I had to laugh so hard at the look she gave him. She did NOT want to reach in there because it looks like this!
In the end she was very brave and put her hand in there..... and then had to wash off using the whole bottle of disinfectant soap.
Dad wants her to help with the carving. She does help but is having a really hard time concentrating because of all the pumpkin guts next to her.
Soon enough she relaxes and starts to have some fun. ((see the flappy hand starting))
Here she is! My happy Angel. This was the perfect Halloween moment. When she is happy it is a Giant HAPPY that fills the whole room and makes everyone happy too.
They even wrote her name on the side! I think it turned out really good.
10/8/12
swearing...
Once upon a time.....
We were so desperate for Kalista to talk that we joked and said "even if she swore we would be happy because at least that was SOMETHING!"
Well my friend, today is that day.
I was reading in the living room and K was listening to her CDs. The tv was on in the background because K absolutely has to have it on even if she doesn't watch it. Most of the time I don't think she pays attention to it.
So some potty mouth on the tv said a swear word and she repeated it clear as a bell. I was so shocked and told her No swearing. She didn't even miss a beat and repeated what I said and then swore again. It did kind of make me laugh but I told her again not to swear.
So all day long I have been hearing "Bleep... no swearing... Bleep... no no no! Bleep... no swearing.....". (at least she is telling herself not to swear)
I am grateful for words. I am grateful for words. Really really grateful for words..... every bleep one!
We were so desperate for Kalista to talk that we joked and said "even if she swore we would be happy because at least that was SOMETHING!"
Well my friend, today is that day.
I was reading in the living room and K was listening to her CDs. The tv was on in the background because K absolutely has to have it on even if she doesn't watch it. Most of the time I don't think she pays attention to it.
So some potty mouth on the tv said a swear word and she repeated it clear as a bell. I was so shocked and told her No swearing. She didn't even miss a beat and repeated what I said and then swore again. It did kind of make me laugh but I told her again not to swear.
So all day long I have been hearing "Bleep... no swearing... Bleep... no no no! Bleep... no swearing.....". (at least she is telling herself not to swear)
I am grateful for words. I am grateful for words. Really really grateful for words..... every bleep one!
10/6/12
10/6
Today was kind of a bust. I thought it would be good to start the day with some HIIT. (high intensity interval training) I do this a lot but I just upped the time today. Big big mistake! I ripped something in my upper back.... and wow is it putting a wrench in my life.
Kalista has been super sweet to me all day. She has helped me with all the house work. She even washed her sheets herself and I was just going to let that slide. She let me lay on the sofa with a heating pad on my neck as she watched the Princess and the frog and danced and sang along with the movie. It was too cute and made me laugh.
I believe I have learned something about my Angel today. Apparently, in her mind, pudding is comfort food and is just the thing to make you feel better. Bless her heart! Not only did she take it upon herself to make my favorite chocolate Primal pudding from scratch she also made tapioca pudding. (and you know how long that takes) She would bring it to me and spoon feed me a bite and then pat my forehead and say "good girl momma." I have never felt so loved and cared for.
Right now she is practicing writing her letters on the ipad and after each letter she says "good job" and "thats great!" I guess there is nothing wrong with her self esteem. Thats a small miracle when you think about typical developing 12 year old girls. =)
Kalista has been super sweet to me all day. She has helped me with all the house work. She even washed her sheets herself and I was just going to let that slide. She let me lay on the sofa with a heating pad on my neck as she watched the Princess and the frog and danced and sang along with the movie. It was too cute and made me laugh.
I believe I have learned something about my Angel today. Apparently, in her mind, pudding is comfort food and is just the thing to make you feel better. Bless her heart! Not only did she take it upon herself to make my favorite chocolate Primal pudding from scratch she also made tapioca pudding. (and you know how long that takes) She would bring it to me and spoon feed me a bite and then pat my forehead and say "good girl momma." I have never felt so loved and cared for.
Right now she is practicing writing her letters on the ipad and after each letter she says "good job" and "thats great!" I guess there is nothing wrong with her self esteem. Thats a small miracle when you think about typical developing 12 year old girls. =)
10/5/12
10/5
Oh my goodness, I have neglected my Angel journal again.
We have been too busy playing outside now that it has cooled off a bit. School has started again and Kalista is loving it. She really thrives on the structure. We have the same speech therapist and we are really happy about it because Birgit is amazing. Our OT this year is new but we are all getting used to each other. She seems to be really good.
This week we had our appointments with the doctors from the university of Utah. They have been following Kalista from the time she was 3 years old. the first years were really intense because K would scream bloody murder the entire time. Kalista has really matured the last few years and it is a much nicer experience now. I was so so proud of her. She sat really well for 2 hours and was happy the whole time. She showed off how well she can write her name now and taught the doctors how to sign "play" and "bugs". =D
Right now it is after 11pm nd we are having an "up all night move marathon". I hope it doesn't last all night but we will see. Sleep is still like a myth or a legend..... I believe in it but it is always just out of my grasp.
I'll be better at journaling. for now here are a couple of pictures of my girl being happy in the fresh air.
Riding the 4wheeler on the mountain.
Playing at the fish pond.
We have been too busy playing outside now that it has cooled off a bit. School has started again and Kalista is loving it. She really thrives on the structure. We have the same speech therapist and we are really happy about it because Birgit is amazing. Our OT this year is new but we are all getting used to each other. She seems to be really good.
This week we had our appointments with the doctors from the university of Utah. They have been following Kalista from the time she was 3 years old. the first years were really intense because K would scream bloody murder the entire time. Kalista has really matured the last few years and it is a much nicer experience now. I was so so proud of her. She sat really well for 2 hours and was happy the whole time. She showed off how well she can write her name now and taught the doctors how to sign "play" and "bugs". =D
Right now it is after 11pm nd we are having an "up all night move marathon". I hope it doesn't last all night but we will see. Sleep is still like a myth or a legend..... I believe in it but it is always just out of my grasp.
I'll be better at journaling. for now here are a couple of pictures of my girl being happy in the fresh air.
Riding the 4wheeler on the mountain.
Playing at the fish pond.
8/5/12
8/5
Today Kalista was in the kitchen making a smoothie. She has a cute little blender that is just big enough to make 1 smoothie at a time. We decided a log time ago that a tiny blender with only one button on it was the best thing for all of us. (so I don't end up drinking lots of extra Experimental concoctions)
Kalista mush have made thousands of smoothies in her life. She loves to blend up stuff. Some turn out good like strawberry banana. Some are "not the favorite" like kale peach tomato. "Not the favorite" by the way means "bad bad bad".
Today K was making banana OJ which is actually pretty good. For some reason she blended it and took of the lid and looked in.... and pushed the button one more time for good measure.
Yep, you guessed it. She had banana smoothie all over her face and she was mad at me for it. I was laughing so hard and I think she thought I did it to her some how. She grabbed me and put her hand over my mouth. "ssshhhhh.... quiet!" she says. Now we both had a banana facial and it was NOT funny.....
Kalista mush have made thousands of smoothies in her life. She loves to blend up stuff. Some turn out good like strawberry banana. Some are "not the favorite" like kale peach tomato. "Not the favorite" by the way means "bad bad bad".
Today K was making banana OJ which is actually pretty good. For some reason she blended it and took of the lid and looked in.... and pushed the button one more time for good measure.
Yep, you guessed it. She had banana smoothie all over her face and she was mad at me for it. I was laughing so hard and I think she thought I did it to her some how. She grabbed me and put her hand over my mouth. "ssshhhhh.... quiet!" she says. Now we both had a banana facial and it was NOT funny.....
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